Dating helps with marriage!?

At some point this week I realized that I forgot to wrote last week... oops...

Well, here is for last week and then Ill make up for this week. Sound good? 

We talked a lot about dating last week (shocker, I know...here at BYUI). But honestly, it was not as bad as it could have been. Truth is, I love to talk about dating because it leads to the one thing I desire most- marriage, obviously.

Brother Williams is really great at helping me to look past the obvious and natural reason for things and to look at the divine aspect of a commandment. And, yes, dating is a commandment. 
“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but eternal joy as well. It affects not only the two people involved, but their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations.” (Spencer W. Kimball, 1976, Marriage and Divorce, 2). So to keep the commandment of marriage, you gotta date. Simple.

I just want to share a few of the things that made me go, "Oh. Got it... that makes sense. Maybe the Lord knows what He is doing after all...." 


First. Dating is not just for fun and friends (although that is an important part of it) but dating is to help young men and women prepare to fill the roles of husband and wife. Crazy, I know. But let me explain. 


When a young man has the courage and insitave to ask a girl out, he is learning to take control and learning to use his agency to act and to work for what he wants. This is further expressed as he plans and prepares the date. Later in life the experiences of asking a girl to dance when he is 14 and then asking a girl out when he is older helps him to better prepare to step out of the comfort zone as an adult. In the mission field, in marriage and in raising kids. He has to show and practice taking the insitve so that he can lead a family one day. 


In the dating process, a young man is able to learn how to care for another person. By paying for the food or activity, opening the doors, providing transportation, planning the evening so that both can have a fun safe time is all aspects of caring for another person. As he does any (and hope all) of those things over time, he is able to both learn how to care for anther person and show that girl that he can take care of her. (That is something that he might want her dad to see as well, just sayin’).

Dating is also a very important way to learn how to communicate with the other gender… and really, is there any better way to experience all the awkward moments than with that cute girl or boy? Communication is vital for any relationship- especially for your marriage. A marriage without good solid communication is not a solid relationship and has reason for concern. As two young people go out on dates and not only learn how to talk to someone of the other gender, but add the nervousness of liking that someone, and communication will be a breeze. Just kidding. But by the time you move into the time of marriage and of holding more serious relationships communicating with someone of the other gender will be, or should be, easier and come more naturally.

I know that I have focused on why dating is good for the growth of the boy, but it is also important for the girl to hold her share and to help out, just like marriage, dating should be a type of partnership. And both should look for those important traits in the other gender. So as you date and meet others (and prepare for marriage) look for the ability to communicate, plan, work out, ability to handle money, manors and those things that would be important in a eternal marriage covenant.