Fathers Influence on Children

The title of our lesson for this week was “Fathers and Finances”. Part of our homework was to do a very, very short research paper on fathers and their influence on children. I learned some pretty interesting things and thought Id share.

Research On Dad’s Influence:

I would like to talk about 5 positive effects that caring, involved fathers have in the lives of their children.

First article- https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm

1) Involved fathers help turn children outward, balancing the mothers instinct to bring them inward. Fathers who are involved with their children are more likely to support and help the children reach a healthy level independence. Fathers are more secure with letting them go, thus providing confidence in the children that balances the mothers instinct to keep the children close to home. The author states, “children who grow up with involved fathers are more comfortable exploring the world around them and more likely to exhibit self-control and pro-social behavior.”

You can see this all throughout the child’s life, starting with how parents hold their babies (if you watch dads holding their kids, they will usually hold them facing outward while points stuff out and showing things to the kid, while moms will hold them facing inward), to when the kids get older and go to school, and all the way through and until they move out.

2) Through all stages of a child’s life, we are able to see that a father who plays with his young children (and continues to be involved with them throughout life) is better able to prepare the child for school and the challenges of life. This article states, “Toddlers with involved fathers go on to start school with higher levels of academic readiness. They are more patient and can handle the stresses and frustrations associated with schooling more readily than children with less involved fathers.”

3) Father involvement fosters clarity of gender roles. By seeing how the loving and kind father treats his wife, boys are able to see- not just be told- how they are to treat their wives, and it helps to prevent aggressiveness toward women. Girls who see how their caring and loving father treats their mother are able to see what they are to expect and accept from a man later on in their life, lessening the chances of them being in abusive relationships. When the opposite is seen and children are more likely to be anxious, withdrawn, or antisocial as well as being instigators/receivers of abuse.

4) Father involvement helps children be more emotionally secure. When babies grow up playing with their father they are able to learn how to deal with emotions in a healthy way that otherwise might be destructive. The article gave an example of roughhousing with dad saying that, “ [it] can teach children how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions.”

Second source (the author had two articles talking about this data):

http://www.whale.to/b/importance_of_fathers.html

http://www.battlefortruth.org/ArticlesDetail.asp?id=174

5) Fathers church attendance affects their kids future attendance. A study done by the Swiss government found that church going fathers have a significant effect on the future of their children and weather or not they will be church attenders as well. The study found that children with fathers who go to church and mothers who do not have a greater chance of going to church later on than if its switched- faithful mothers and inactive fathers.

My Experience With My Father:

I was very blessed to have a wonderful father who has been great at doing these things that the research has found to be most beneficial to children. He has always been very involved in my life and the lives of by siblings.

      Just like the research has shown, my dad has influenced my taste in men. I reasently found a list of traits I wanted in my husband when I was 16 and looking at it now, it describes my dad perfectly. (Lucky for me, that is a good thing).

Some of my fondest memories come from Daddy Daughter Dates, dances and dishes. He always tried to spend time with me as a kid and teen. He took us girls on regular dates with just him and spends man time with my 11 year old brother. I love dancing and remember dancing with my Daddy anytime music came on, no matter how public the place. A special time that still continues to this day is washing dishes every night together. This time together, one-on-one opened a door for questions, conversation and learning that would not have happened otherwise.

I knew my dad loved me from a young age because of the time he spent with me. My dad taught me that I was beautiful and showed me that I am a Daughter of God, a Princess. These were treasured moments that I wish I could still enjoy while I am at school- I am grateful for them and his wisdom even more now than before and look forward to breaks from school when I can go home and spend time with my Dad and my family.

I edited some of my paper to make it better, and just gave you the research and my personal experience, I hope something stood out to you. With all the divorces happening I think it is important to remember that men have just an important role on their children as moms do. It is sad to see so many dads stepping back, so many fathers who want to have families (http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/06/15/fathers-day-question-do-most-men-really-want-to-be-dads-survey-says) stepping down because they feel like mothers can do it better. Dads, father our children with their mother. If you are alone in this adventure, keep your chin up, you do make a difference in your kids life. And single moms, don’t think that your not dong a great work, too. Please see the importance of a male role model and if it is at possible, have examples for your children to look up to- church leaders are a great one.

How has your Dad influenced you? If you did not have a good relationship with your father, what can you do to strengthen it or to make sure you kids have a good relationship with their dad? I know this is not a huge scientific post/paper, but I do know that a fathers influence is great and the lack of the father has lasting effects not only on families but on nations. I believe that if fathers were more involved in their children’s lives in a loving way (or at all), kids these days would not have such a need to search for other sources of authority and examples (gangs, drugs, ect). If you’re a Dad, don’t ever underestimate your influence on your kids! And guys who hope to be dads, prepare now for the influence you will have on your children. Prepare to raise your children hand in hand with your wife.